Where Have I Been?

Well, there are two answers to that question.

1)  I've been right here, silly. Crazy fool. :P

2)  I've been right here. Silly...crazy...fool.

Does that clear it up at all? Figured it wouldn't. Well, I've been here, lurking, watching, just hanging out. I've been quietly following tweets, watching Facebook, and reading blogs.

But I haven't really been participating. I've hidden inside my shell, just peeking out. Because as much as I can recognize the beauty in others, and as much as I can see the worth in you, there's one place that I still can't see it.

The mirror.

I just can't see it in myself. I've never been one to call attention to myself, and lately, it's gotten worse. I see the popular ones, the golden people, and it feels like they are getting louder and louder. Shrinking away is the only thing I feel comfortable doing.

I'm not saying this to fish for compliments, or to ask you to validate me. I'm not asking you to say I'm wonderful, or special, or that I do deserve to be a part of the crowd.

That wouldn't help anyway. I appreciate it. I love you for it. But I have to feel it. I have to accept it. And that is a shitload easier said than done. You know that. You've probably been there too. It's all in the reaction. Because face it, that is the only thing that you have 100% control over. You rely on the moving parts and behaviors of others for everything else. What goes on inside your head, inside your heart; that's the only thing you own completely.

How do you react to situations? Annoyed, irritated, angry, frustrated. Fearful, desolate, sad. Avoidance.

So, that takes us back to yesterday's take away. Remember it? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.

Someone posts something you don't like? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY. Your book gets ripped to shreds in a scathing review? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.  Everyone else gets noticed, and you're still standing alone? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.

How do you react to situations? Happy, believing, caring, hopeful. Inspired, supportive. Acceptance.

Because you're not alone. It just feels that way sometimes. Let's do it together. The uphill battles are easier to manage if we work as a team. Are you in? Because I am. It's time.

The glass, she is full.


~xxx~

Weigh Anchor

source: http://countyourlastblessings.tumblr.com

Cut the cord. Ditch the anchor. 

Allow yourself to float freely in who you are, not who you have been, who you are expected to be, or who others define you as. 

Because the you inside is all that matters, and it is more than enough for me. 

~xxx~

Authorized

I authorize you. 


If someone tells you the door is locked, fuck them. 


If someone says you don't belong, fuck them.


If someone tries to stop you from creating your own paradise, fuck them.


Because no one is allowed say you aren't entitled to it.

No one.


~xxx~

Who Are You?

It's human nature. Our own minds are our worst enemies. We find our flaws and pick at them until that's all we see in the mirror. We give others the ammo to hurt us through our own insecurities. Then we wonder how we got here, and why it hurts so bad.

It's time to stop it. Quit worrying about who you aren't. All that matters is who you are. That is what you should be showing the world. Show us who you really are, and we'll respond accordingly.

So your assignment today is to write a list of who you are. Why you are special. Why you deserve to be noticed, celebrated, and loved. Because you do deserve it. I can see it.

It's time you did too.

~xxx~

Look Where You're Going

Standing on the edge, looking out. You know where you want to be, but getting there is the daunting part.

Taking that leap to be what you were born to be, away from what you have been, what you have been expected to be, is scary.

It really is a long way across and a long way down, but it's going to be an amazing journey. Expect that you will be kicked in the nuts a few times along the way. Just remember whether you make it, or just barely miss it, at least you tried. And that makes you special.

~xxx~

How Do You Eat an Elephant?

One bite at a time.

When you feel like you've bit off more than you can chew, just try to remember that. Don't let the size of the task overwhelm you. You can do it.

Just take it one bite at a time.

~xxx~

Switched Off

Sometimes it feels like I always have to be on.

Something I've had to learn is that it's not possible. Having a bad day, or negative feelings, or just feeling off sometimes is just normal. We all go through it.

That's the price of admission to the human race.

And it's all right. You can be off. You can be down.

Go ahead and take that moment to yourself. We'll still be here when you're ready.

~xxx~

Keep On Keeping On

It may make me seem like a pessimist, but one of my favorite characters is Eeyore. Yes, he is the sad sack of the bunch. Always down. The most in need of a hug.

And yet, he keeps trying. He puts himself out there. He opens himself to failure, not letting fear stop him. And he makes it through.

Even if he does tend to lose his tail once in a while.

~xxx~

Not sure if you realize, but

Just thought you could use the reminder. You are special, just as you are.

~xxx~

Au or Al?

Everyone has one. That person, or group of people, who makes you feel completely inadequate.

Someone who is gold. They walk into the room, and they shine so brilliantly, so beautifully, they capture everyone's attention and imagination. Everyone wants to be near them. They are the bling.

And they remind you that you are aluminum. You are the pipes that bring the water so they can clean up and shine even brighter. You are the can that brings the soda that refreshes them.

Us lesser metals stand no chance standing next to them. They fill up the room when they enter, whether it's a broom closet or an auditorium.

But, the thing about us lesser metals? We are the support systems that provide the nourishment they need. We are flexible, so we can bend to fit the situation. We are lightweight, so we don't need huge support systems to keep us elevated. We are ubiquitous, and we are innocuous. So we are everywhere, even though you may not notice us.

I tend to think that makes us the greater metal.

~xxx~

Labelling

Doesn't matter what label you put on it, we're all still human.

Isn't that all that should matter?

~xxx~

What Matters

 

~xxx~

CAN'T! won't.

Is there a difference between can't and won't? There used to be.

Can't means you are incapable of doing something. I can't be elected president, because I can't imagine an instance where I would run for office.

Won't means you have chosen not to do something. I won't stand for hate and bigotry. I won't support hurtful messages.

Very different meanings. But it seems as though can't and won't have become interchangeable. It seems can't has become the de facto excuse for the entitled. "I can't do it" means "I won't even try."

So why should I have to do it for them when they won't do it for themselves? Why is it acceptable for The Entitled to just drop everything, say "I can't", and expect that I'll pick it up for them. What happened to the drive to succeed?

I'm all for helping someone who needs it, but all too often, it's the "I won'ts" that take, rather than the "I tried, and I need help."

Conversely, when I say I won't do something, it doesn't mean that I am incompetent, or that I am not capable of doing it. It means I have chosen not to.

Can't isn't the magic word that means you don't even have to try anymore. And it's not the magic word to get me to help you out. That's please.

After all, can't never could do nothing.


~xxx~

Reminder

 

I really try to keep positive. Upbeat. Suzy-freakin-Sunshine.

But sometimes, it's not so easy, especially when it feels like the world is out to get you. 

Sometimes I need a reminder to just accept that crap happens.

Sometimes I need to be reminded that the only thing I have complete control over is my reaction to what happens around me. Even if that reaction is to get angry, to retreat and regroup, and to move on to Plan B.

Sometimes I need to just remember to tell the negativity to get the fuck out of my way, let the sunshine in.

So, I'm going to choose to have a great day, even though it's yet another fucking Monday.

~xxx~

Hafta! Gotta. Wanna?

• fic•tion [fik-shuhn] is any form of narrative which deals, in part or in whole, with events that are not factual, but rather, imaginary and invented by its author(s). (from wikipedia)

This may piss some of my peers off. I'm okay with that. Ready for my next brilliant revelation?

You did not have to write that novel.

You wanted to write that novel. You may have felt compelled to write it. But, at the end of the day, you did not have to write it.

Believe me, I understand how characters can get into your head and scream to be let out. Heck, I have a whole barracks of characters, and they all take turns running up to the glass and bang on it to have their stories told. But, as much as they egg me on, it's still a want, not a need. 

When you have to write something, you are doing it for a purpose. You are trying to sell someone something–whether it's selling the boss on approving your budget, selling your constituents on keeping you in office, or recruiting more bigots for your hateful diatribes. The most important piece of your writing is THE MESSAGE, whatever your message is. Buy this. Validate me.

When you want to write something, you are doing it to tell a story. To answer  'I wonder what would happen if....'  The most important piece of your writing is sharing your creations. You're giving the world a piece of you, honing it, and putting a piece of yourself out there. Here I am. Enjoy me. 

That's not to say you can't pass something meaningful into your fiction. You can present an idea, or blend a movement into your stories. You're basing your work on humans, after all, for the most part. People have thoughts, and ideals, and beliefs. That's part of being human. Your fiction shouldn't ignore these things, and done as a part of the story, can be very effective and move people to tears, or to action. That's part of what all writing is. Manipulation. Pure and simple.

When your primary goal in your fic•tion is THE MESSAGE, you will fail, only grabbing the most loyal to your cause. Your fictional novel goes from being entertainment, with a side of activism, to an all-out manifesto. Bludgeoning your readers repeatedly with your MESSAGE will turn readers off. Your message will get lost, and the backlash will be astounding.

We've all read examples where the have to write has contaminated the want to write. Believe me–it shows. 

You owe it to your characters to showcase them, you owe to your readers to respect their ability to understand and interpret things for themselves, and you owe it to yourself to enjoy the fucking ride, without cursing the journey.

~xxx~

Monkey Squirt

Why do we keep doing things the way they've always been done? Especially when those ways of doing things make no sense? 

Sometimes we do it because it's tradition. We're carrying on the customs of our families or our culture. It's a way of honoring those who came before us. There's also rituals. Established ceremonies groups use to commune with their deities. Recipes make sure things turn out the same way every time. Verified repeatable results.

But then there are policies and procedures we always follow that make no sense. For example, printing out a document and copying it twice to document something, when an electronic copy can be filed in two different locations for backup purposes. Things no one ever asks "Why are we doing it this way?" And if you do ask why, then answer is probably "It's the way we've always done it." 

It's what I like to call "Monkey Squirt". I started calling it that after reading about a social conditioning experiment conducted with monkeys.

Begin with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, and all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon the monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.

Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

When is time to stop just going along with what's always been done and ending the cycle?

~xxx~