Saturday, November 26, 2011

Saturday Snark - Love, Whiner

I love the sound of snark in the morning...

Make sure you visit Marie Sexton's blog for more delicious snark.

Tall, dark, and scowly. That sums up Whiner Stendhal. But that doesn't mean he has no soft, fuzzy feelings. Just look at the way he tells Connie that he loves him.

"I hate your car, but I love its driver."

We hate your truck too, Whiner. We really hate your truck.

This intimate moment between Whiner and Connie can be found in Make Your Stand, a Stendahl's Stand Choose Your Own Adventure.


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Saturday Snark - Goldilocks?

Can you smell what the Snark is cooking?

Here's another snippet from the Hersh/Quint WIP. Hersh has left Quint alone at his house while he ran some errands. Quint took the opportunity to do a little exploring. And napping.


“Look who’s sleeping in my bed,” Hersh said loudly, waking Quint up. “In his Monday underwear. On Thursday. Get up. What are you doing in my mask, and where the hell are your pants?”
Quint didn’t realize he had drifted off until Hersh started yelling. He glanced up through the Stormtrooper mask and swallowed thickly. “Uh…. Trick or treat?”


Ah, Quint. How do you expect to get out of this one?


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Weigh Anchor


Cut the cord. Ditch the anchor. 

Allow yourself to float freely in who you are, not who you have been, who you are expected to be, or who others define you as. 

Because the you inside is all that matters, and it is more than enough for me. 


Tuesday, November 15, 2011


I authorize you. 

If someone tells you the door is locked, fuck them. 

If someone says you don't belong, fuck them.

If someone tries to stop you from creating your own paradise, fuck them.

Because no one is allowed say you aren't entitled to it.

No one.


Saturday, November 12, 2011

Saturday Snark - Shunning IKEA

(with apologies to Hal David)
What the world needs now
is snark, sweet snark.
No, not just for some, but for everyone.

This is from a silly, MadLibby story I started this week. My NaNo has been getting a bit serious, so I needed to switch gears for a bit. 

Chief Maverick is holding a press conference detailing the gruesome murder of Humpty Dumpty.


"It had been shot, stabbed, frozen, and sliced. Then it was reassembled in the incorrect order. There were body parts all over the floor, but our doctors simply could not put Humpty Dumpty back together again. It was as if this man had never even been to IKEA.” The throng of reporters pressed forward, all calling for the Chief’s attention. “Yes, you, Chastity Nemesis.”

Chastity stood up and adjusted the cups of her red bustier before her light brown nipples peeked over the tops, like a cup of coffee threatening to spill down the crotch of your pants when you jammed it between your legs at a fast food drive through.

“Chief,” she started in her sultry baritone. The male officers reached down to adjust their cocks behind their dark blue uniform pants, while the women squirmed in their seats, crossing and uncrossing their legs. “You believe this fiend has never been to IKEA? How is that possible?”

“Well, Chastity, in this day and time, there are still those who would eschew quality, low-cost furniture that is easily transportable but requires some assembly.”

“The barbarian! He must be caught!” she exclaimed, draping one hand dramatically over her eyes before she fainted dead away into the waiting arms of Zeal Floraslayer. 


Oh, he will be caught. Detective Rascal Lonejackal will make sure of that.


Saturday, November 5, 2011

Saturday Snark - Want a Hand?

As always, jog on over to Marie Sexton's blog to check out more snark. 

Today's Saturday Snark comes from Bennie's Wish. It's my holiday story - celebrating No Pants Day. Look for it on Star Wars Day next year (which coincidentally happens to be No Pants Day) next year. May the 4th be with you. But not your pants.

Bennie's catching Wish just as he *ahem* finishes something... ;)


Wish panted a few times, then Bennie watched as his knees buckled and he started to fall. He rushed across the room and grabbed Wish under the arms to keep him from hitting his head on the edge of the counter. With Wish in his arms, he leaned forward and placed a kiss just behind Wish's ear.
"I would have helped you with that, you know," he whispered.


That Bennie. He's a helpful guy.