Monday, May 21, 2012

Love is...

Officially, the Hop Against Homophobia ended yesterday, but I had one more thing to say, and today just seemed the right day to say it.

You see, today is my anniversary. Spouse and I have been married 23 years today. I have spent more time with him than without.

I'm blessed. I have someone who loves me, who stands beside me, and behind me, no matter what. He lifts me up, holds me high, and grounds me all at the same time. He's there for me, and I try to be there for him.

I love you Spouse. I probably don't say it enough, but I try to show it every day.

We're lucky. We have that piece of paper that says no one can keep me away from him in case something catastrophic happens. No one can say I'm not allowed to be by his side, or him by mine.

Thousands of people are not so lucky. They've found their one, the other half of their soul, but they are denied that golden ticket that says the government has legitimatized their union. Our elected officials, our community 'leaders', have their heads up their asses.

The reality is that getting the government to accept the fundamental fact that love is love is taking too fucking long. All couples, regardless of either partner's plumbing or DNA, should be afforded equal protection.

We have our marriage license, but we've taken extra steps to ensure we're always protected. Living wills and medical powers of attorney stating exactly who has the right to make decisions for us in the event we are incapacitated. Financial powers of attorney so we both have access to the funds to support those decisions. Last wills and testaments to indicate who gets what in case the unthinkable happens. Beneficiary declarations so the funds go to the people we've chosen and not the government.

What I'm trying to say is that recognizing that everyone deserves the right to marry is just one avenue of protection. Loading up other legal documents can provide security for your loved ones, and the ammunition to tell administration officials to shove their antiquated beliefs and regulations where the sun don't shine. It's not true equity, but it is protection.

I'm no expert. I don't claim to be one. Please do your research. Talk to professionals. Most importantly, talk to your partner about what fits your relationship. Decide together what works for you, what won't, and by all means, do what's right for you. It's no one else's business, nor should it be. Don't let anyone pressure you into, or out of, what your partner means to you.

Because everybody deserves their happily ever after, whether the government chooses to accept it or not.


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