I'll Alert the Media

Once upon a time, boys and girls, "I'll alert the media" was a sarcastic barb. A jab at someone saying something that no one really needed to hear. A notification that you have passed on TMI.

'I'm going to take a piss.'

'Great. I'll alert the media.'

But we can't use that anymore. Why? Twitter. Seriously. People tweet the most asinine non-sequiturs, as if it's the most interesting bit of information. To the whole world. Not just to their little group of friends. Do I care that some stranger in another state just bought a pack of gum - LOL!!!!? Or OMG!! saw a pile of dog poo!!!!?  

My only response to that is WTF? I'm not a fan of chatter for the sake of chatter. Just because you can share this information with the world doesn't mean you should. I would rather just sit back and STFU if I'm not adding anything.

That said, I now Tweet. Yes, I've joined the masses. I can recognize the media for its usefulness - quickly sharing information, catching up with friends, starting a movement. Talking with like-minded individuals. Getting your message out there. And even have some fun. Or venting. But I don't need to know anything about your bathroom habits. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to hit the head.

~xxx~