Friday, January 13, 2012
Where Have I Been?
1) I've been right here, silly. Crazy fool. :P
2) I've been right here. Silly...crazy...fool.
Does that clear it up at all? Figured it wouldn't. Well, I've been here, lurking, watching, just hanging out. I've been quietly following tweets, watching Facebook, and reading blogs.
But I haven't really been participating. I've hidden inside my shell, just peeking out. Because as much as I can recognize the beauty in others, and as much as I can see the worth in you, there's one place that I still can't see it.
I just can't see it in myself. I've never been one to call attention to myself, and lately, it's gotten worse. I see the popular ones, the golden people, and it feels like they are getting louder and louder. Shrinking away is the only thing I feel comfortable doing.
I'm not saying this to fish for compliments, or to ask you to validate me. I'm not asking you to say I'm wonderful, or special, or that I do deserve to be a part of the crowd.
That wouldn't help anyway. I appreciate it. I love you for it. But I have to feel it. I have to accept it. And that is a shitload easier said than done. You know that. You've probably been there too. It's all in the reaction. Because face it, that is the only thing that you have 100% control over. You rely on the moving parts and behaviors of others for everything else. What goes on inside your head, inside your heart; that's the only thing you own completely.
How do you react to situations? Annoyed, irritated, angry, frustrated. Fearful, desolate, sad. Avoidance.
So, that takes us back to yesterday's take away. Remember it? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.
Someone posts something you don't like? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY. Your book gets ripped to shreds in a scathing review? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY. Everyone else gets noticed, and you're still standing alone? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.
How do you react to situations? Happy, believing, caring, hopeful. Inspired, supportive. Acceptance.
Because you're not alone. It just feels that way sometimes. Let's do it together. The uphill battles are easier to manage if we work as a team. Are you in? Because I am. It's time.
The glass, she is full.