Friday, January 13, 2012

Where Have I Been?

Well, there are two answers to that question.

1)  I've been right here, silly. Crazy fool. :P

2)  I've been right here. Silly...crazy...fool.

Does that clear it up at all? Figured it wouldn't. Well, I've been here, lurking, watching, just hanging out. I've been quietly following tweets, watching Facebook, and reading blogs.

But I haven't really been participating. I've hidden inside my shell, just peeking out. Because as much as I can recognize the beauty in others, and as much as I can see the worth in you, there's one place that I still can't see it.

The mirror.

I just can't see it in myself. I've never been one to call attention to myself, and lately, it's gotten worse. I see the popular ones, the golden people, and it feels like they are getting louder and louder. Shrinking away is the only thing I feel comfortable doing.

I'm not saying this to fish for compliments, or to ask you to validate me. I'm not asking you to say I'm wonderful, or special, or that I do deserve to be a part of the crowd.

That wouldn't help anyway. I appreciate it. I love you for it. But I have to feel it. I have to accept it. And that is a shitload easier said than done. You know that. You've probably been there too. It's all in the reaction. Because face it, that is the only thing that you have 100% control over. You rely on the moving parts and behaviors of others for everything else. What goes on inside your head, inside your heart; that's the only thing you own completely.

How do you react to situations? Annoyed, irritated, angry, frustrated. Fearful, desolate, sad. Avoidance.

So, that takes us back to yesterday's take away. Remember it? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.

Someone posts something you don't like? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY. Your book gets ripped to shreds in a scathing review? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.  Everyone else gets noticed, and you're still standing alone? FEEL GOOD ANYWAY.

How do you react to situations? Happy, believing, caring, hopeful. Inspired, supportive. Acceptance.

Because you're not alone. It just feels that way sometimes. Let's do it together. The uphill battles are easier to manage if we work as a team. Are you in? Because I am. It's time.

The glass, she is full.



  1. Even though you said you said that you're not doing it for this I'm giving it to you anyway: You are wonderful, awesome and I love you. You ROCK beyond all possible rocking! Just fyi. Love you big sis!!!-Vic

  2. I will never pass up a time to tell you how much I care about you. I adore the ever loving socks off of you!!

    I agree with your message. Several of us just chose to sit back and not get involved, I am one of them. I have stopped posting a lot and have started hiding out in my shell. It's easier to do what you know instead of going off into the unknown.

    If you hold my hand, I'll hold yours and we cane come out of our shells together.

  3. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Summer & Vic. You have no idea how much I appreciate your support.

    And I will proudly hold your hand. It's roomy, and pimped out, but it's time to step away from the shell.